How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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