I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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