nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
