dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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