Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
