its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
