Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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