what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
