You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
