I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
