weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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