i think my mom watched the whole time
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
