Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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