I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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