we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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