I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
