i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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