And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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