Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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