sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
