just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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