bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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