Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
