is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we made out on top of his cat.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
being pregnant is like rehab
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
