he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
