I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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