Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
found the other keg... it's in the tree
porn star boner night. come get it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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