Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
