I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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