It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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