I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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