Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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