all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just found puke in my bra..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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