somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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