I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize