with your own penis?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
