You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
