just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
