Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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