They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
