It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
