Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
