I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
