I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
