we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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