Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
