Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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