I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
