Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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