I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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