two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
