Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
