Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I love having hate sex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
