I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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