the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
