You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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