Michael Bay diarrhea
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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