So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
