I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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