i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
