One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Vodka?
Forever.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
