Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
