there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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